Ah middle school. Though your child may barely be entering puberty and may still be a preteen, the transition
to middle school is a big step on the road to maturity. A big, scary step. Regardless of what specific grade marks the beginning
of junior high or middle school in your community, your child will be both excited and afraid. Researchers
have found that students anticipating the move to middle school worry about three aspects of the change: logistical, social,
and academic. Your child with learning or attention difficulties shares
the same worries as her peers, and may be afraid the change will be even harder for her.
While you won't be able to calm your child's fears completely, with some advance planning and open discussions
you can substantially ease her mind. The first step is understanding what may worry your child.
Logistical Anxieties
When researchers asked kids what aspect of moving to middle school most concerned them, the top answers related
to how things at the new school worked (Akos, 2002). How would they find the right classroom? What happened if they were tardy?
Where was the cafeteria? What about the bathrooms?
Middle school is a much more complex environment than grade school. The campus is larger, there are more students,
and instead of one teacher and one classroom, your child will have a separate instructor and classroom, for each subject or
block of subjects (e.g. language arts/ social studies or math/science). It's no wonder kids worry about finding their way
in this new world.
For your student with learning or attention problems, understanding the rules and procedures of the new school
may be even more important. The challenge of navigating multiple transitions between classes and organizing books and materials
for every subject may be all she can handle in the first few weeks. Here are some strategies for helping your child make a
smoother transition to middle school:
* Accompany your child on campus tours and orientations offered to
parents and incoming students. The better you understand the
school layout and rules. the more you can help your child.
* Get a map of the campus and take your child to explore. Pick a time
after school in the spring or in the days just before school starts in the
fall. Be sure to check in with the school office to get an OK for your
explorations.
*Include a couple of your child's friends on campus treks. They can boost
each other's memory about where things are when school starts.
* Take advantage of summer programs-academic or recreational- offered
at the new school for incoming students. Your child will get the feel
for the campus in a much more relaxed atmosphere.
*Get a copy of your child's class schedule and mark the location of her
locker and each classroom and bathroom on the school map. Tape
both of these inside her binder. If your child has trouble reading maps,
walk the route between classes with her-more than once, if necessary-
and note "landmarks" that the student can use to navigate.
*Find out the length of the passing period between classes. Time it out
for your child. Demonstrate how far she can walk in that amount of
time.
* Get a copy of the student handbook. Review rules and requirements
especially the school's code of conduct, which describes consequences
for "violations"of the most important rules. Ask the school staff questions
about anything that's unclear.
*Sit with your child and explore the school web site.
* Buy your child a lock for her locker several weeks before school
starts to give her plenty of time to practice opening and closing it.
(Note: Consider whether a combination or keyed lock is best for your
child.)
*Provide your child with an easy-to-read wristwatch so that she can
quickly see if she needs to hurry to be on time for class.
Social Fears
Another area of worry for students moving to middle school is the social
scene. Will I see anyone I know? Will it be hard to make friends? Will I
have to eat lunch alone? Are the older kids bullies?
Your child is moving from the top of elementary school heap to the
bottom rung of the middle school social ladder. She may have heard that
the older students tease or bully the younger ones. She knows for sure
that she and her best friends are unlikely to be in every single class
together, and, even worse, there may be classes where she doesn't know
anyone at all on the first day. And if your child with learning or attention
problems struggles to make friends anyway, then this all adds up to a
potential social nightmare.
Remember that, in addition to changing schools, your child is entering adolescence, a stage when kids start to
rely much more on peers and pull away from psrents. This is a time when being part of a group is very important and being
perceived as different can be devastating. It's not surprising that finding friends in the new school is a top priority.
The good news is that the more varied social enviroment also offers many opportunities to meet people. Being
in multiple classes each day means your student is surrounded by more potential friends. The better news is that, once students
are settled into middle school, they report that friendships and the social scene are among the best things about school.
Some things that you can do to ease the social transition:
. Encourage your child to join sports teams, clubs, or other
extra-curricular activities.
. Ease any loneliness in the early weeks of school by helping
arrange weekend social activities with neighborhood church, or
grade school friends.
. Encourage your child to join group conversations. Discuss how to
join in without interrupting, to add something relevant to conversation
in progress, etc,
. Talk about traits that make a good friend (such as being a good
listener).
.Talk about social skills. Discuss how words and actions can affect other
people.
. Practice skills needed for difficult situations.
. Remind your child to make eye contact when speaking or
listening.
Academic Concerns
Though students worry more about the logistical and social aspects of
middle school before they get there, once settled in, academic concerns rise to the surface. Will the classes
be too difficult? Will there be too much
much homework? Are the teachers hard graders?
It's quite typical for students' academic performace to drop upon entering
middle school. Along with everything else that's going on--roller coaster emotions, physical changes, and social
upheaval--your child is also coping with harder classes, more homework, and a whole new set of academic expectations. Middle
school teachers don't form the close bonds with students that your child enjoyed in grade school. There is less social group
and personalized instruction. Teachers expect students to take charge of assignments and projects with less day-to-day guidance.
For a student with learning or attention difficulties, these changes can come as quite a shock, Teachers may
vary in their willingness to understand and accommodate your child's learning needs. Organization and time management demands
rise to a new level. Though it can seem
overwhelming, keep reminding your child that she can manage these changes successfully, though it will take time
and practice.
Some tips to help ease her academic concerns:
. If your child has an Individual Education Program( IEP), meet with the
middle school staff no later than the spring before your child enters the
new school. Discuss the qualities of the ideal teacher for your child to
help ensure the best placements.
.Meet with teachers early in the year. Give them a profile of your child's
strengths and where she needs help.
. Encourage teachers to continue using strategies that have worked for
your child in the past, such as writing homework assignments on the
board, or assigning your child a "homework buddy" she can contact if
she forgets what her assignments are.
, Help your student with time management skills. Work together on a
schedule for study time, break time, chores, etc.
. Work out an organizational system with your student. Acknowledge
and make allowances for her anxiety; at first, she may need to carry
everything for all classes all the time in order to feel prepared.
.Avoid overreacting to grades. Making sure your child gets a handle on
how to meet the demands of the new school is the critical factor in early
weeks.
.Stay connected to your child's school work. Try to teach your student to
work more independently while supporting her enough to give her
confidence.
.Go to parent-teacher nights, open houses, and other events where you
can connect with your child's teachers.
.Help your child be her own advocate. Encourage her to discuss
problems and solutions with teachers on her own, but be ready to
step in and help as needed.
The best way to help your child through this transition is to keep a positive
attitude about the new school. You may remember how clueless, awkward, and self-conscious you felt at that age,
but your child doesn't need to hear it was a horrible time. Remind your child that the school and the teachers want her to
be successful and that she has what it takes to make it all work.
Most students make the adjustment to the routines and demands of middle school within a couple months. If your
child is still struggling as fall gives way to winter, then a meeting with her counselor is in order. Together, you. your
student and the counselor can pinpoint specific trouble spots and brainstorm ways to get things on track.
And remember--- you can't give your child too much information about how things work at the new school. To prepare
for a conversation with her, you may want to read through the "Middle School Transition Tips for Parents"and offer your child
the "Middle School Transition Tips for Kids." The more she knows up front, the more comfortable she'll be on the first day,
and beyond. See SchwabLearnig .org to order the books.
